Mirrored Doors - Why Must You Torture Me So?

For the 3 fans of Ji and the City with whom I don't actually work, in our elevators here the doors are mirrored. Every morning when I get on the elevator I silently curse the nimrod that came up with the ingenious idea to make the doors mirrored. Why is it that in my mirror at home I see a half way decent reflection but upon stepping into the elevator, I see a gargantuan woman slightly resembling myself? And to have to start out everyday in this manner is a serious test to a girl's sanity (or attempt at sanity anyway.) The scariest mystery is whether my mirror at home is just being nice to me. Could it be? Is that woman in the elevator reflection the real Ji? Dear Buddha the thought alone is enough to make me want to throw myself down a long flight of stairs!

Aside from the hopefully distorting qualities of the mirrored doors. It does crack me up when the elevator is full, yet no one looks into the mirrored doors. Everyone looks at that little tv screen thingy with the factoids or at their (usually unfashionable) shoes. The little tv screen thingy makes huge sociological statements -yes? Ah! Let me not get too metaphysical here.

I, for one, enjoy looking into the mirrored doors and silently critiquing the other elevator riders fashion choices. Usually goes something like this, "ooo, not good, um, not quite working for ya buddy, who told you to wear that???" Once in a while though I am impressed. And what joy this brings me. A law firm is not fertile ground for high style. So on those rare occasions that someone looks good in the elevator, I send them a telepathic message letting them know they get the Ji seal of approval. Did you get the message?